Caught off guard

I once read somewhere that "the worst way to miss someone is when they're right there..." I believe it was one of those annoying chain letters that you receive in your inbox and somehow by mistake forget to delete before opening it. Once you read the first line you're caught in a moment and continue to read until the end. Point being: the worst thing about missing someone who is right there is not being capable of doing anything about it. When someone is away and you feel the longing to see them, be with them, hear their breath... the solution lies in a plane/train/bus ticket. But, when that person is right there and you can't even look at them, it becomes clear that what you miss about them is not (purely) physical...it's much more profound - for the spiritual absence of someone is nearly unbearable. Pain is like a foil; the seemingly harmless bendy appearance blinds your from seeing how painful the stab can be. In this respect, when you're stabbed with a foil-like moment, the pain/disappointment that runs through you, through every artery of your body, and every piece of your heart, feels like a myriad of horrifyingly sharp tips penetrating your skin.

I have never thought I'd feel uncomfortable in my own house. I guess I was mistaken. Perhaps this needed to happen... but why? The reason why I prefer SLRs over digital cameras is that once you take a picture, its forever captured; nothing can delete or edit it. Some pictures are just perfect the way they are.

Not seeing him for nearly a week was bizarre, but being so close, yet so far away from him tonight was...i cant even finish that thought. I hate being caught off guard at such times.